animentality:

robotmango:

awed-frog:

robotmango:

it’s ninety-nine degrees outside, four fuck-thousand percent humidity, and my husband was like, “i’m gonna go for a bike ride.” and i was like “why. no. why. don’t put us on the news like that. local fool collapses on unnecessary journey. don’t do it.” so he says he doesn’t want to “hide in the house” because the sun is shining. bruh. honeybruh. “the sun is shining” does not cover it. its hot outside. its motherfucking hot as fuck outside. our outdoor plants have been crying into their hands all week. whole cars are melting into the sewer. our fucking patio umbrella developed sentience to ask me for lemonade this morning

@robotmango, you need to work for the weather forecast - this was both hilarious and so vivid it made me stand up and get some iced tea.

this is a great idea, thank you. here goes. my audition tape for the weather channel. dearly beloved. we are gathered here today to have a fucking funeral for the outdoors. it had a good run, with all its creeks and clouds and shit. pretty great. now it’s ten-thirty at night but still ninety-two asshole-sweating degrees and humid as fuck. everything is hot and slimy, like being a “borrower” that got trapped inside a bottle of shampoo and then accidentally microwaved. you can see on my doppler radar that nothing is moving around out there because everything is probably dead. the only alive thing is the mosquito currently trying to drill a hole in my leg. no surprise that all the shitbag mosquitos are fine, since the thermostat of hell is always at the devil’s preferred temperature. this forecast has gotten away from me a little, but in conclusion fuck the sun

montereybayaquarium:

This week, we’re sea-lebrating Rosa’s birthday! Let’s get this shellebration started!  🎉 🕺

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Rosa is known for her signature swimming style, her superb surrogacy skills (she’s reared more pups than any other active surrogate mother on exhibit—15 pups) And at 24 years old, Rosa is one of the oldest southern sea otters!

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Read on how we care for our senior sea otters here:

Caring for our aging sea otters | Stories | Monterey Bay Aquarium

Like most of the sea otters on display at the Aquarium, Rosa was rescued as a stranded pup and has grown up in front of millions of visitors

montereybayaquarium.org

We’ll be sprinkling all sorts of fun Rosa content across our channels this week, so stay tuna-ed! For now, learn more about this bay-utiful birthday girl here:

Tagged: misc cuties

mapsontheweb:

India successfully lands on the moon

Chandrayaan-3 makes India the fourth nation to successfully land a spacecraft on the moon, joining the Soviet Union, the United States and China.

Source: aljazeera.com

bettalbimarginata:

nat-20s:

Favorite thing about renaissance faires is that they have fuck all to to with the renaissance. This thang is not about historical anything this is about dressing up like a fairy and watching a joust

#a samurai with a flintlock pistol sitting next to a guy dressed as a caveman drinking a styrofoam cup of dr pepper#and it fucks severely

soberscientistlife:

My all time favorite protest sign

tastefullyoffensive:

marlynnofmany:

writing-prompt-s:

You die two deaths - your physical death and your true death when your name is spoken for the last time. You, a mild-mannered introvert, have been stuck in limbo for centuries waiting for your true death, and finally found out why.

“You mean a little copper swindling and keeping my own hate mail led to that??”

terminusverge:

yebisu:

onlywayin:

I work cybersecurity, this is like half my job.

Yeah, this is just cybersecurity in a nutshell.